How is coma boy?
by elven-emma
Summary: As a celebration of the new series of Green Wing here's a few more moments with the sleeping Mac.
1. How's coma boy?

So how is coma boy?

AN: all it says is things like the date and … Emma not the owner of green wing blad gee bla gee blah… doesn't own the characters blagee blah gee blah

Caroline took one last look at Mac's closed eyes, sighed and left, bumping in to Angela on the way. "So how is he?"

"Oh well you know, sleepy."

"Like the dwarf?"

"Yeah…what?"

"Sleepy the dwarf!"

"Riight. I've gotta go."

"See ya!" replied Angela cheerfully. She went in to Mac's ward and sat next to his bed. "I don't really think you look like a dwarf. Hmm. Maybe you should be Snow White…ooh or sleeping beauty. And you know what they had in common don't you? Great hair." Angela grinned and took out of her pocket a handful of hair bobbles. She began arranging Mac's hair and put in it several ponytails.

Just as she was putting in the last one Caroline wandered back in.

"I err," said Caroline, "wh…what are you doing?"

"Oh just playing with his hair," replied Angela still with an overly cheerful voice.

"You can't do that!"

"Aww, why?"

"Because he looks silly," Caroline defiantly took out a bobble, "It's not even symmetrical, here." Then she put it back in his hair arranging it in a better place.

Angela smiled, kissed the air in front of Caroline's face and left. Caroline stared at Mac for a while then thought better of it, taking out the bobbles and ruffling up his hair. She sat on the chair, taking up her usual seat. Caroline sighed again and her eyes wandered around the room, finally settling on Mac.

Caroline put her hands to her mouth and began breathing loudly, Darth Vader style.

"Jedi Mac, awaken! Prove to me your love…for me."

_Jedi Mac stood holding Princess Caroline's hand in the large metal space ship._

"_I shall prove to you," said Mac, taking out his lightsaber, "by fighting Darth Guy."_

_Mac walked past the metal bikini clad Caroline to face the cloaked Guy. "Take out your lightsaber Darth."_

"_I can't"_

"_Ah so you admit defeat?"_

"_No, actually it's this helmet," He replied taking it off, "I think I look better without it." He grinned at Caroline._

"_Yeah well some would disagree," quipped Mac._

"_Quiet ginger and let's ask the woman."_

"_I do have a name you know," complained Caroline._

"_Whatever. Are we going to fight then?"_

"_Yes," answered Mac lighting up his lightsaber._

"_What you mean actually use the light thingies?"_

"_Yep what are you afraid?"_

"_Let me finish, are we going to use the lightsabers, because anything else would be girly and so I hope we do use them."_

"_Then let's fight."_

"_Ah well I seem to have forgotten mine."_

"_What because you're afraid I'll beat you?"_

"_No no."_

"_Fine, we'll just use our fists," suggested Mac as he threw down his lightsaber._

"_Good that's great and," Guy suddenly whipped out a lightsaber and hit him with it, "I lied. You won't catch me wank pot!" he shouted running away._

_Mac fell to the ground and Caroline held his head in his lap and began stroking his hair._

"_This wouldn't happen if you just woke up."_

"_I am awake…"_

Caroline took her hand away from Mac's head and began to rest her's on his chest.

"Just wake up Mac, or I won't stop doing this," and she began poking him in the side and only stopped when a nurse arrived which she took as a good time to leave.

…………………………………………………..

Boyce and Martin stood at the end of Mac's bed. Boyce held a waste paper bin full of balls of paper. Boyce put down the small bin to go to Mac and open his mouth as Martin screwed up more balls of paper.

"You sure this is such a good idea?" asked Martin in a worried voice.

"Yeah it's fine, everyone else is busy and HEY don't screw them up that tight, we don't want to choke him."

"Oh yeah."

"Right now it's 2 points for a hit in the chest, 5 for a hit on the forehead and 10 for getting it in his mouth."

"What if it bounces?" asked Martin.

"What?"

"What if the paper lands in his mouth but bounces out?"

"err seven points. OK now 10 balls each and GO!"

Boyce and Martin began throwing bits of paper everywhere eventually aiming them at each other using Mac's bed as a hiding place from each other.

AN: OK just a tad bit short until I can think of some more exploitations of coma Mac. Well I hope you enjoyed it!


	2. Who is he, the ginger jesus?

AN: Wow thanks for the quick reviews. Hmm looks like I'll still have to keep Guy to the dream sequences though since he's still not back yet although I think I don't want to ruin the great Guy moments and dream sequences are hilarious.

Who is he, the ginger Jesus or something?

Sue had waited until the right moment preferably when that Dr. Plod was out of the way. She crept in to Mac's ward wearing a pair of sunglasses and holding some felt-tip pens.

"Well hello Dr. Mac. How are we today? Yeah? Yeah?" she giggled as she looked down at him, imagining the things she wanted to hear him say. "Oh really well we can certainly solve that little problem." She took the top off of one of the pens and began colouring in the end of his nose. She took out a small mirror and did then same to her own nose and then went on to draw a pair of whiskers on her cheeks and on Mac's. "Ooh Dr. Mac you are the King of beasts, meow!" She began stroking his hair and eventually grabbed it in her fists, "I love your lion's mane I want to hold your lion's mane, let me lay next to you at night and stroke your mane." She began to rub her nose against Mac's and started meowing.

In the middle of rubbing her nose she was interrupted by Caroline. "What are you doing here?" asked Sue.

"What am I doing? What…what have you done to him?" she walked over to Mac in disbelief.

"That wasn't me."

"Yes it bloody was, you've done the same to your face!"

"Nonsense it was some crazed nurse she was on top of me and…"

"Stop, just stop! Do you think I'm stupid?"

"Well…"

"Don't answer that! Just get out and leave Mac alone." Caroline stared down Sue who seemed not to care.

"She'll be on top of you." said Sue who then meowed and left.

Caroline, still confused, walked over to Mac and attempted to wipe the pen off his face.

"Hmm you do make a very pretty cat." Pondered Caroline.

…………………………………………………….

Mac stood on a road surrounded by cornfields. The road appeared to be made of yellow bricks. He suddenly felt something touch the back of his leg. It was a tail that was sticking out of the back of his trousers.

"_You know that means you have no courage," came a voice from behind him. Mac turned to see Guy wearing a rather flattering blue chequered dress._

"_I like the skirt," said Mac, "it suits you."_

"_Fuck off this isn't mine."_

"_Then who's is it?"_

"_Some woman's she err couldn't resist me," lied Guy, "she grabbed me, tore off my clothes and demanded me to make love to her in the cornfield."_

"_Demanded, really?" said Mac sounding disinterested._

"_Yeah and when we were done I couldn't put my clothes back on, I mean, they were ripped to shreds so she lent me her clothes."_

"_Really? Wow she must have been a big woman."_

"_What?"_

"_Nothing, it's just that dress fits you perfectly."_

"_No it's actually pretty tight."_

"_Whatever."_

"_Well at least I'm not a big pussy cat."_

"_I think you'll find I'm a lion."_

"_Yeah a lion with no courage."_

"_No the lion is a strong predator with plenty of courage and is so amazing it can start stampedes."_

"_Yeah, well you realise where we are don't you?"_

"_Yes we appear to be on a road."_

"_A yellow brick road," Guy pointed out, "which means this is Oz and you are the cowardly lion." Guy folded his arms and began to look smug._

"_So that makes you Dorothy?"_

"_No."_

"_Yes I think it does."_

"_I am not a girl. Anyway Dorothy was braver than the lion."_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Yes she killed a witch…"_

"_By accident."_

"_She…escaped the killer dwarves at the beginning."_

"_Yes, yes, so your saying you're so brave that you ran away from what were essentially harmless munchkins?"_

"_No they were evil, it's there in the subtext and she survived them without a single scratch. And what did the lion do? He pranced around crying."_

"_Oh shit," said Mac, pointing ahead of them, "look." In the distance was a figure dressed in black running towards them. "It's Witch White, you didn't see me OK?" Mac ran past Guy and in to the cornfields. As Guy turned back from watching Mac run he jumped to see Sue White stood in front of him._

"_Have you seen a lion anywhere?" she asked, breathing deeply._

"_No I haven't, all I've seen is some ginger coward."_

"_Listen, I need to find him, I must find the king of beast…"_

…………………………………………………

Sue took her hand from Mac's hair. She had waited for Caroline to leave so she could have another small, private moment. She kissed the sleeping Mac firmly on the lips then left humming a song from "The wizard of Oz".

………………………………………


End file.
